30% Offish?

Dear Parents,

According to research (really good research), you only have to be on the Therapeutic Parenting Path 67% of the time? That's relieving, isn't it? You can be getting a "D" and still doing SOOOOO WELLLLLL toward helping your child heal.

1 out of 3 engagements with your child can be offish.

1 out of 3 engagements with your child can be dysregulated.

1 out of 3 engagements with your child can be, uh, yelling.

 Aren't statistics interesting? How do you know if you are losing your mind and dropping your "slow and low demand" parenting only 30% of the time? Yeah, we humans are not statistics, but statistics are made by humans.

So, get this... You are human (by definition, flawed) and you make mistakes. When you use as many "rupture and repair" responses as you can after you lose your "sh!t," you will make the 30% you are off so much less impactful. You are human, perfectly flawed. Celebrate! Perfection is not possible. Perfection IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR HUMANS. Thinking one needs to be perfect is kind of a problem because when you fall short you feel ashamed. Let's put shame under a bright light and let it dissipate in the harsh reality of truth. Humans are NEVER 100% on "it," no matter what the "it" is.

Time to celebrate. If 2 out of 3 responses you have for your child are regulated--within the window of tolerance--and loving, you are doing FABULOUS. If you are not there yet, cool. You will be with practice. Carry on, my friends. Carry on.

If you are under the "D" level of therapeutic parenting, then you need some help to be the parent your child needs you to be.  Check out some of the resources below. If you are ready to do the best thing you can do for yourself, your family, and your child from difficult beginnings, I invite you to learn about Complex Developmental Trauma first in my free masterclass.  And then, maybe you will see that you need to learn more, heal more, try more effective parenting strategies by becoming part of the Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Training Program.  It is warm and cozy in here and you will get to 67% faster with guidance, education, and a community of wonderful, loving parents to support you.  Don't wait. Your kids are getting older and bigger and more distressed the longer you wait. You are getting more distressed, too.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. You are invited to register here for my upcoming FREE Masterclass on Complex Developmental Trauma.

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