Anxious Attachment (Part 2 of 2)

Dear Parent,

Here are a few more ANXIETY BUSTERS for you to help your child:

•  Give your child a little something of yours to hold when you are gone, even into another room i.e. sweater, t-shirt, necktie, watch, headband, bracelet, clean sock, scarf, necklace--anything you don't mind having busted, twisted, chewed, slimed or shredded.
• Tell your child what is next just before what is next.  Too much anticipation can turn excitement into anxiety in a heartbeat and anxiety turns to tantrums and self-sabotage in the next heartbeat.  Avoid this by shorter lead times, and resist the urge to say, "Quick, go get your shoes on; we are going somewhere fun and you will find out when we get there what it is."  That is a recipe for disaster, with no shoes in sight.
• When you have to change plans suddenly, slow down, sit down with your child, and, after asking your child to take a few deep belly breaths with you, tell them that plans are going to change and everything is going to go fine.  This is called future shaping which helps your child feel the anxiety of the change and replace it with a new happy picture that is going to be just as good as the original plan. This only works sometimes, but, hey, that’s pretty good.
• If you are rushing around due to lateness, try not to involve the kids.  Feel free to be a chicken with your head...well, you know, but give the kids a rush-around, anxiety break by sitting them down in front of a video cartoon while you do your thing.  Or let them go into the playroom, bedroom, or family room and have a fruit snack.  Once you catch up to yourself, address your child with calm. 

Hope this helps a bit. 

Chicken or egg theory applies here.  Who knows which comes first, your anxiety or your child's?

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.