Desperate Bids For Connection
Jan 09, 2021
Dear Parent,
These are bids for connection, when your child needs loving, rocking, hugging and holding the most:
Breaking things
Running away
Never leaving your side
Arguing
Lying
Not getting up
Not going to bed
Tantrumming
Demanding
Misbehaving
Yelling
Crying
Biting
Hitting
Spitting
Urinating on you
Defecating in your living room
I saw this on Pinterest by Annonymous: The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most
unloving of ways. Can I get an Amen?
I once read an article about a Yale University study sporting the same old ABCs of behavior change with the major tenet being for us parents to "totally ignore the tantrum, but be effusive with our praise when our child behaves how we want them to." There is nothing new about that approach since B.F. Skinner introduced it in the forties and fifties. Obviously, Yale U wasn't researching our kids.
When your child bids for your love, give it or the intensified negative behavior will get it from you anyway.
Love matters,
Ce
P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.
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